Choosing To Trust, part 2
Read part 1 of this article here.
Our interactions with our teammates are full of gaps that are created when what we experience doesn’t measure up to what we expected. Contrary to your reflexes and past experiences, you can choose how you will fill in these gaps. There are certainly objections to this, especially concerning people who have broken trust. Even then you can decide whether to give them a second or third or twelfth chance. You may argue the wisdom of such a choice, but the choice is present. Healthy teams are made up of people who choose to trust.
This dynamic has two very useful implications.
The first is that the choice of whether or not to trust determines the tone and direction of our relationships, and the combined tone and direction of our relationships determines the direction of our team. You are in the driver’s seat for your interactions, and ultimately for your team’s effectiveness. Much of the dysfunction we see in our work with partners comes from a lack of trust, but trust is a choice.
This brings us to the second implication: because trust is a choice, it is instantly changeable. Your team could end the day today more effective than you started it. It’s scary to actively choose trust instead of suspicion because it reveals our vulnerability, but the payoff far outweighs the risk. And it is not a one-time choice, but rather an ongoing series of choices. Sometimes you may even need to say out loud, “I choose to trust them here.”
But it is not enough for us to choose to trust our teammates. If we want to be part of a healthy team, we must also work hard at being trustworthy. The healthiest teams have high-accountability environments, because everyone is simultaneously giving trust to others and earning it for themselves. Logic tells us that reducing the number and intensity of relational gaps leads to a better team environment. In other words, don’t make others choose between trust and suspicion so often. We do this by becoming aware of both our perceived integrity and our authentic integrity. Your perceived integrity comes from the way others view you, and matters greatly in a team environment. We build trust by asking, “How will this look to others?,” rather than, “What are my rights?” Your Authentic Integrity comes from your actual thoughts and actions, and is what comes to mind when most of us think about being trustworthy. True integrity comes from alignment between our words and our deeds, and is what makes us easier to trust.
This 2-part series of posts is taken from training content offered by MLC on this subject called “Choosing To Trust”, which also includes discussion questions and personal exercises. Contact us for more information.
