Four Questions That Will Make You A Better Coach
Coaching can look different in different contexts, but its common theme is helping people be their best (and do their best). Even if you’ve never held the formal title of “coach”, you have certainly served in that capacity to someone. If you’re a business owner or a manager or even a parent, you have the opportunity to help others improve and grow. You are a coach.
And coaching is about asking the right questions, more than having the right answers. Our role is not to tell others the right way, but to lead them to discover it for themselves. We help, we encourage, we correct when needed; but ultimately we are guiding them as they steer their own ship.
So what are the right questions? Here are four that work well in a variety of contexts, especially when packaged together in this order:
What is right?
Always - I repeat, ALWAYS - start with what is going well. It provides encouragement and a balanced perspective, since most of us drive straight to what is wrong. There will be plenty of time for that, but let’s start every review from a place of strength.
Where are you struggling?
While it’s not surprising to ask this question, it does serve several purposes. First, it forces the one being asked to confront the issues they’re facing, sometimes for the first time. Second, it allows them to share their confusion, frustration, and struggles with someone else, which can lighten their load and is therapeutic. And third, it is curiously effective at identifying current and future leaders. Those who are leading and growing are problem solvers who constantly ask this question. They are often quick with an answer when asked since they’ve thought so much about it.
What is your plan?
This is where many of us jump the gun as coaches (and parents). Before we give them what we believe to be the best plan, let’s first pause to hear what they have come up with. They are more likely to own a strategy they originated, even if you have wisely spoken into it and made subtle improvements. While guiding them is great, it’s a short walk from there to taking control and responsibility from them, which will create dependents and not leaders.
What do you need from me?
Don’t assume you know what they need (even if you do). Ask them. It’s always interesting to hear their understanding of their needs, and you may be surprised at how much you learn from their answer to this. Also, this is a variation of the most powerful question you can ask, and its true proper context is one of providing coaching support.
What conversations this week could you improve by intentionally asking these questions?
